Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Mom

The Bad Guy

2012-01-31T14:26:00.002-05:00

I always end up the Bad Guy.

I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that I am a stay-at-home Mom, and therefore the main adult my children see a majority of the day. Every day. From the time they get up until the time Hubby gets home, I call the shots. And it makes me look like the villain.

Recently, it's started to weigh on my heart. I'm running in a lot of directions right now, and while I aim to give my kiddos all the time and attention they need, it's inevitable that things actually have to get done from time to time. Groceries need to be purchased, floors need to be swept, checks need to be brought to the bank, and for the sanity of all that is sacred, play dates need to happen.

But Little Chica is at That Age. Although I'd imagine every parent feels that whatever age their child is currently at is That Age. Currently, That Age is really starting to wear on me. Somehow, my beautiful three-and-a-half year old's natural most instinctive reaction to anything I say involves digging in her heals, obstinately refusing and stubbornly (and as creatively as possible) asserting the answer NO.

Me (as Mary Poppinsy as possible): Ok! We have school today! Time to get dressed.

LC (arms crossed and the stink eye plain across her face): NO!

Me (cheerfully): Well, we'd better get a move on! How about I help you put your shoes on?

LC (shrieking unnecessarily, causing the neighbors to become concerned): I don't WANT to put on my shoes.

Me (attempting to be bright but rational): Well, Lovie, how can we go to school in our pajamas and no shoes?

LC (with every ounce of teenager she can muster): I don't CARE. Don't TALK to me that way!

Me (all rainbows and unicorns and sunshine): Aw, sweetheart. Well, we need to go to school today. And I have to go to the grocery store because we are, literally, out of food. See the empty pantry and fridge?

LC (tears falling, hysterically screaming, body convulsing on the floor): BUT I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL! KDJHKJDHFKJHDKJHDFKJHKJDHFKJDFH (something undecipherable).

Me (at a complete loss for what just happened and how the tables just turned): ....

This has become my day, every day. Every moment is a battle, every question is a NO before it's even asked. I have ceased being productive (including but not limited to: grocery shopping, cleaning, parenting, cooking, various and sundry other errand and generally keeping myself at a baseline of hygiene). I can't serve breakfast, get the kids dressed, request one last attempt at the potty before leaving the house without a fight. And getting to the car, let alone anywhere, on time?

Laughable.

I've given up on punctuality a long time ago.

While at times I can see the humor in the situation, I've realized today that I'm hurt. I'm hurt by my 3-and-a-half year old daughter. And some days? I can't let it go.

I am tired of being the Bad Guy.

Because while I spend my days battling Parenthood at home, other people swoop in at various times as the victor. The Protagonist. The Good Guy. They come in gloriously on a cloud with blaring trumpets while I sit and stir poisoned apple stew in my antagonistic Bad Guy corner. Don't get me wrong: I absolutely love the people in my life that love my kids. My friends, my family. And most especially, my husband.

I love that when Hubby comes home, my girls race to the door to meet him. Despite the fact that deep down I wonder if they are not just running to their Daddy, but rather running away from me. He's fresh, not having been fighting the same battles all day long. He has a whole storehouse of patience and jokes and games to play, while I sit holding my empty sack of Mommy Tricks. They never refuse him, never throw a tantrum, never give him the hairy eyeball. He asks, they respond.

From the Good Guys perspective, I probably look like an impatiently raving lunatic who has no idea what she is doing. I'm sure my husband wonders why I'm fried by the time he walks in the door. Why some days I resent my kids for what they've put me through. Why the simple act of refusing to use a fork at dinner is enough to send me into hysterics. Why the kids only seem to react negatively against me and no one else.

Why it's so easy to feel like the worst mother in the world whose children would be better off raised by wolves than this woman who has a total lack of parenting skills.

I'm sure he wonders why, and at the end of the day I sigh and try to explain.

Because. Because it's been a long day. In a long week. In a long month. In a long experience called Parenthood. Oh, there are good days. Days when the kids get along and we laugh and play and wear white dresses and frolic in meadows. And there are dark days where tantrums leave me traumatized, staring off into space, rocking while I hug myself and mumble.

(Yeah. I've been there.)

I tell him I want are more good days. Less bad days. More cooperation. Less refusals. More understanding. Less accusations.

But most of all?

Most of all I want to be the Good Guy. The wonderfully incredible Superhero who swoops in to save the day. The Protagonist who has a bag full of fun ideas and games and creative crafts. Whose storehouse of patience is endless, whose kindness and grace has yet to be rivaled. The mom whose voice has no capability of yelling, whose smile is unable to stay off her face.

I want to be Little Chica's Super Mom.

Today may not be that day, with it's path of destruction already paved. But I can look ahead. Yes, tonight before I climb into bed, I can mentally tie the Good Guy cape around my shoulders. I can imagine filling my bag full of creative ideas and games and jokes. And I can take a deep breath, multiplying my patience in preparation for the day ahead.

Today may have been a bad day.

But there is always tomorrow.

Recipe: Apple Slaw

2012-01-30T14:15:00.001-05:00

Hi!

It's Monday! And although I haven't been the greatest recently at keeping with this tradition, it's RECIPE TIME!

Now, this particular Monday, I do not have a Simple Supper recipe for you. I do have a few that I am excited to share with you in the coming weeks (yay for new dinner inspirations!) but today I HAVE to share with you the amazing side dish brought to my attention by alert awesome friend, Krista.

Over the Winter Break, we had a fun night with a bunch of Hubby's coworkers. The hostess made one of the best slow cooker pulled pork sandwiches I've ever had (it involved the usage of liquid smoke. Need I say more?). And one culinarily gifted friend, Krista, brought along the only reasonable side dish to serve with pulled pork sandwiches: Coleslaw.

But not just any coleslaw.

APPLE Coleslaw.

And for the purposes of this post, we shall, from here on out, refer to said slaw as Apple Slaw.

And friends? Can I tell you? IT WAS SO GOOD.

Me? Not really a coleslaw person. I appreciate that Chick-Fil-A often throws in a small container with purchases. And sure, they are the obvious side dish at summer gatherings. And while I indulge every once in a while (since I do enjoy cabbage), it's not really my thing.

Until I met Apple Slaw.

And it's all been downhill from there.

What do I love about Apple Slaw? It is light - not overly mayonnaised and spiced. It is simple, refreshing, with the perfect hint of sweetness (brought to you by, you guessed it! Apples!). And if you throw a heaping spoonful onto your pulled pork sandwich, you'll never be the same.

Krista kindly gave me permission to share.

ENJOY. And if you need a pulled pork recipe to compliment the slaw, I'd recommend Sara's Pulled Pork Sandwiches.

~~~~~

Krista's Apple Slaw

For the Dressing:

1/2-3/4 cup of mayo (depending on what texture you are going for)
1 TBSP dijon mustard
1 tsp. sugar
2 tsp. of apple cider vinegar or red wine vinegar
Juice of one lemon
Salt and pepper.

For Slaw:

1/2 head of cabbage, sliced very thin
2 carrots, shredded
1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced half moon
1 gala apple, julienned

(If you want to simplify, you can also use 1/2 container of bagged coleslaw mix, adding the onions and apples as stated above)

Combine the slaw vegetables with the dressing.

Chill in the refrigerator for a hour.

Serve!

~~~~~

IfI can encourage you: Go out and get the makings for this side dish.And while you are at it, treat yourself to some nice slow-cookedPulled Pork sandwiches.

You'llthank me.

Moreto come this week - so check back!

And,as always, I'd love to try your recipes and share them with the restof the community - so send them my way!

moderndaydonnareed@gmail.com

Free Write Friday: Rain

2012-01-20T10:11:00.005-05:00

I like writing creatively. Not that blogging isn't creative. But I enjoy the freedom of exercising my writing muscles and creating beyond the more informative blog post. I think it's cathartic. I like seeing where my mind takes me. I like trying to put words to an emotion. I like shaping words.

And I think more people should do it (just as I believe that YOU and everyone else can benefit from blogging).

Many bloggers partake in a once-a-week free write post, and I thought it'd be a nice way to challenge myself. Can I encourage you to write too? Maybe it starts with starting a private blog. Or, perhaps you take an old-fashioned pencil and notepad and unleash the creative forces of your mind. Write a poem. Write a story. Write a vignette. Just write.

Know this: it doesn't have to be good. Much of my writing turns out like rubbish. I'm not trying to be Charles Dickens or anything. So don't let your ability hold you back.

And if you are brave enough, share! Share the link to your creative writing (whether it be on a blog post, a google doc, whatever) in the comments below. Email it to someone (heck, email me). But write write write! See where it leads you.

I'll be doing Free Write Fridays - I do hope you'll stop by and join in the fun.

*****

Rain

My hand grasps the doorknob, and I pullopen the heavy wooden slab. Grey. Dreary. A monochrome picture ina monochrome frame. Heavy clouds, thick air, and I tentatively,reluctantly take one step outside. Another. Wetness dots my bareskin, my body instinctively recoiling from the cold shock. Drop dropdrop until there is a moist film over my arms, my face. Drop dropdrop until the chill eats through to the inside.

To the core of me.

Against everything rational, I tilt myhead up ever slightly, letting my hair hang further down my back.Inside, a sink full of dishes waits. Errands beckon. Pity taunts.Guilt abounds. And two warm little bodies giggle under a blanket oftoys. My neck bending back, my face slowly taking on every drop. Nothing between me and the raw elements. No buffer from emotion. Noprotection from my thoughts, my heart, my life.

I stop.

And I stand.

Drops become streaks across myforehead, pouring over my cheeks, pooling between my lips. Washingover me. I embrace the cold. I embrace the wet. And I let it washover me. Wash away my insecurities. Wash away my fear. Wash awaythe mean words. Wash away the disappointment. Wash away the burdensand responsibility.

Wash away the thousand ways I'vefailed.

My clothes, damp. My hair sticksclosely to my head. I turn my palms upward and raise my arms,catching the orbs of water. Wash away the doubt. Wash away theugly. Wash away everything that tells me I can't.

Because I can.

And it starts to become beautiful.

The chill nestled in my bones ticklesmy nerves. Quietly, slowly, an ember glows. Warmth. Beneath thecold, a warmth grows. It traces my arms, down my legs and back up tomy chest. Warmth. Melting away failure. Melting sadness. Meltingdespair. Melting away, bringing with it light. And all the darkplaces illuminate. Brilliance. Restoration. Beauty.

Because it cannot remain dark wherethere is light.

The warmth radiates against my face,and I open my eyes.

The sun.

All around me, blue skies. Green grass. Washed clean from the rain.

Hope.

Never has my heart felt so light.

*****

SOPA and PIPA - Why it Matters to You...

2012-01-18T10:07:00.001-05:00

Pirates are cool.

Piracy is not.

But let's handle this like adults. Not all "let's shut down the internet as we know it and make it suck." Also known as SOPA and PIPA.

You may have noticed today that some of your fave interwebs sites are all BLACK or TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. Or, if you are the Oatmeal, you are doing a dang good job of making a good point even better. As the Washington Post stated in their recent article, "This is what happens when you make the internet mad."

Don't piss off the internet.

Or pirates.

I digress.

While I am absolutely 100% totally on board with the Internet Blackout happening today (as are many of my lovely bloggy friends), I am also absolutely 100% totally inept at doing this to my own blog.

Don't judge me.

So since I have no idea how to black out my blog (but do so in spirit), please check out these videos:

PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future on Vimeo.

And make a stand yourself by contacting your local representative NOW:

I love ya, and as long as the internet world as we know it doesn't fall to pieces, I'll be back tomorrow with more good stuff.

NEW Menu Calendar

2012-01-17T14:22:00.002-05:00

The New Menu Calendar

I've been inspired by some of my favorite bloggers to create a Menu Calendar. Nothing complicated, just the idea of planning ahead - way ahead - so that you are:

1) Not caught off guard wondering, "What should we eat tonight?"

2) Not caught without supplies, because you know in advance what meals you are having, and therefore can create the proper grocery list

3) Free from the Dinner Rut. Too often we resort to the "same old thing" when we don't know what to make for dinner (due to poor planning - see #1). When you eat the same 3-5 things over and over and over and over and over again, it gets old.

4) Saving yourself money! That's right. Since you can see far into the future, you can buy things on when they go on sale ahead of time. Planning ahead also keeps you from overspending on same day grocery trips (which you go into unprepared, and leave with more than you bargained for). And lastly, it keeps you from resorting to eating out and spending unnecessary dollars on an overpriced meal!

I need this calendar to hold me accountable to smart spending, creative planning and adventurous cooking. I also figured why not share it with you, so we can all be encouraged and inspired?

Here's how it works:

Go to the Menu Calendar tab at the top of the page.

Click on a day.

The recipe for that day is listed (and, if applicable, linked to if it's from the blog or internet), as well as side dish options (or wine selections). We'll just assume dessert is also happening :)

Here's what I need from YOU:

Feedback. Let me know how recipes turn out for you. Let me know if a link doesn't work. Let me know if there is a better side dish. Let me know. Let me know. Let me know.

Inspire me. We want to AVOID the Dinner Rut. So if you have a great recipe (yours, or from another source), send it my way! I love trying new recipes, and love sharing them here. Share it with the rest of the community!

Challenge me to keep up with it. If you see I'm slacking, call me out. Seriously.

Use it. Whether you use mine or create you own, let me know. Commit to smart spending, creative planning and adventurous cooking. With me. it's always good to have (an) accountability partner(s).

Happy (and smart and creative and adventurous)

cooking, planning and spending!

Fear

2012-01-13T11:09:00.002-05:00

But Mommy, I'm scared.

The first time she said it was about a year ago, and she was almost 2 and a half. She'd never uttered the words before, and they came seemingly all of a sudden one night as we were putting her to bed.

Scared of what, love?

The dark.

My heart sank and cold starting creeping into my stomach. Almost like panic was starting to set in, which confused me. Why should this bother me so much? It was only a matter of time until she got scared at bed time. Doesn't every kid eventually go through phases of being fearful of the night?

But it bothered me.

It took a few nights of her crying at bedtime, which was really unusual for her. We started leaving the door open, and that seemed to allay her fears. The Fear Fest was over for now, and was not revisited even with the transition to a baby sister and a big girl bed all in the same month.

Until about a month ago. And it started up again.

This time, she wasn't fearful going to bed. Instead, Hubby and I started waking up to her frantic callings of Mommy! Daddy! in the 3 or 4 o'clock morning hours. Hubby usually answered the calls. It was nightmares jolting her from slumber.

There is a bug on my bed.

My (stuffed) animals are peeking at me.

What is that on the wall.

I'm scared of my room.

It's been going on for over a month now, some nights better than others. We do our best to give her love, comfort and send her back to sleep peacefully. Some nights she resists, other nights it happens almost instantaneously.

But it tugs at my heart, even more than when it first happened a year ago. I feel panic, anxiety in my heart for her. I struggled over my strong reactions to her dilemma. And as I thought and meditated on it, I realized exactly why I felt so strongly about it.

Because I had been that kid.

During elementary school, I was the fearful kid at nighttime who went through bouts of not wanting to go to sleep. I struggled over a period of insomnia, and I was particularly affected by scary movies (which I cannot watch even to this day). As my 3 and a half year old daughter cries out for me, I am brought back to my own experience.

My heart can perfectly recall the agony of being alone in the dark, wondering what might be lurking in the closet or under the bed. My active imagination conjured amazing thoughts, ideas and images on the matter. I ached for my parents, who were just downstairs watching TV, fearing that I would still be awake when they headed up the stairs to their bedroom. Because if they went to bed, I would then be battling the Night alone. Every sound was my worst nightmare coming to life, and the sun rising seemed impossibly far away.

I spent nights waking from bad dreams, unable to shake them., wondering where the dark shadows were hiding. Unable to determine reality from fantasy. I wish my 30-year old self could speak to my 7-year old self, letting her know that everything would be ok. That one day you would thrill to go to bed, and relish sleeping in. That monsters and ghouls do not really exist.

I find that it is this fear that I want to spare my daughter from. Because when she cries in the night, I know exactly how she feels. I know exactly what scary images might be running through her head. I know what enemies she battles in the dark. And I don't want her to face it. I don't want her to know fear, anxiety, loneliness.

If I am honest with myself, I know the sentiment extends farther than sleeping. I think ahead to riding the school bus, being in a classroom with peers all day. There will be new fears, bigger fears. People will be mean to her. Her feelings will be hurt. One day, she will know the emotions of embarrassment, insult, shame. A friend will betray her. And there will come a time that a boy will break her heart.

But it's all part of life. As much as I want to embrace her and shield her from every difficult thing, I would be doing her a disservice. I would be holding her back. I know that, however hard the experiences may have been that I have faced, they have made me who I am today. I am stronger, wiser and braver than I have ever been.

And I have my 7-year old scared of the dark self to thank for it.

Because there is nothing more valiant than facing our fears, nothing more victorious than facing a demon and overcoming it. To survive embarrassment and know we live to see another day. To look Fear in the eye and know it does not power over us. That we will overcome.

And we are better for it.

So tonight, when I hear her tiny voice call out to me, as it will a thousand more times in her lifetime, my heart may break a little. But I will go to her and show her I am here. That I love her and will do everything in my power to protect her. More importantly, I will show her that she is braver and stronger than she thinks she is.

And she will be all the better for it.

To Whom It May Concern: Old School

2012-01-11T13:43:00.001-05:00

To Anyone Who Attended Middle School in the Early 90's:

So once upon a time, we were eighth graders. Oh what turmoil! What bliss! While this complicated age came with a plethora of frustration, there were the inevitable benefits. One such benefit was upgrading to the Middle School Cafeteria (complete with Slush Puppies). Another was Middle School Dances.

We lived and died for dances.

I'm not completely sure why. It was such an awkward thing. A dimly lit gymnasium. Littered with teachers who didn't want to be there chaperoning. Girls hanging out on one side, boys on another. Each gyrating to the fast songs (including, but not limited to Ace of Base, Alanis Morissette, Notorious BIG, Hootie and the Blowfish and Sponge), seemingly unaware of the other. Each secretly hoping for a chance at the opportunity to be in close proximity of the other.

And then. AND THEN. A slow jam comes on.

Slow.

Jam.

Your chance. Possibly only chance. At love! At a future! At a fairytale ending! Or so our dramatic hormonal middle school minds told us.

We lived and died for slow jams.

So imagine the rush of emotions that accosted me today when this song came on the radio:

Someone hold me.

No really.

Hold me.

(And to those wondering, I cannot confirm or deny having owned several Boyz II Men albums. Or still having those albums in my possession. Or listening to said albums on a regular basis).

LYLAS,

Simple Supper: Annie's Eats Baked Southwestern Eggrolls

2012-01-10T14:33:00.003-05:00

Ah! When is the last time I shared a recipe?

Like, forever ago.

Anyway, in the past few weeks (months?) since I've posted a recipe, I've come across quite a few good ones (and even managed to create some of my own). The recipe I wanted to share with you today I found on Pinterest.

Pinterest. The Breakfast of Champions.

Are you obsessed with it yet? I could pin crap all day. Literally.

So I stumbled across the most tantalizing picture of Southwestern Eggrolls, repinned it because it looks AH.MAH.ZING. And then I followed the pin to the actual website, Annie's Eats. I love Annie's blog. And her food. And her pictures.

And then. AND THEN. I took a looksie over the recipe. Can I tell you my heart skipped a beat to find that:

1) These eggrolls were BAKED not FRIED. Can we say healthy?

2) These eggrolls were meatless. Can we say healthy?

Annie is my new official hero. Especially because they taste even better than you think they will, and we've been eating them roughly once a week for the past several weeks. AND THEY JUST KEEP GETTING TASTIER.

::swoon::

Simple Supper

Baked Southwestern Eggrolls

(linked from Annie's Eats)

2 cups of frozen corn, thawed

1 10oz pkg of frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry

1 15oz can of black beans, drained

1 4oz can of chopped green chiles

4 green onions, chopped

2 cups of shredded cheese (Annie recommends a Mexican blend. I use low-fat Cheddar)

1 tsp ground cumin

1/2 tsp chili powder

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp black pepper

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (I don't add this, incase Little Chica wants to try some)

1 pkg eggroll wrappers (I like the Nasoya brand)

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Lightly spray a cookie sheet (or cover with parchment paper).

In a large bowl, combine all the ingredients except the eggroll wrappers.

Take an eggroll wrapper, and place it on the counter in front of you so it looks like a diamond (one of the points facing down toward you). Place 2-4 TBS of the filling in the center (Annie says 1/4 cup, but if you want to spread it further, you can use a little less). Bring the bottom tip of the egg roll up and over the filling and roll slightly. Then bring in the 2 side tips into the center and continue rolling. When you get to the top tip, dip your finger in water and brush the edge/tip. Bring the moistened tip over the top and seal. Repeat with the rest of the filling and wrappers.

Place on greased cookie sheet, seam side down.

Bake at 425 degrees for 15-17 minutes (until lightly brown), turning once.

~~~~~

These are SO STINKING GOOD.

Serve With: Salsa and sour cream, although I wouldn't hold it against you if you threw in some guacamole.

Fun Add In: One time, I made southwestern chicken for dinner. The next night, I shredded the leftovers and added them to the filling of these eggrolls. The outcome was stupendous.

Where to Find Eggroll Wrappers: I had a heck of a time finding eggroll wrappers. To save yourself the time, go directly to the customer service counter and ask where they are. Not all grocery stores have them. They are most likely in the produce section, with the tofu.

Important Tip: Make sure to incorporate all the ingredients in the filling. One time I added the black beans at the end and didn't stir well - and the eggrolls tasted more beany than I would have liked. So make sure everything gets seasoned!

And if you haven't already, check out Annie's Eats. It may just change your life.

2012: I'm Still Here

2012-01-07T09:58:00.001-05:00

Howdy folks.

Hope you are having a nice weekend so far. Ok, so I know: Posts have been low to nonexistent over the last month. I'm aware. It seems I took a somewhat informal Holiday Hiatus. This translates to the holidays were crazy, we were trying to figure some life stuff out, and then BAM it's 2012 and both kids are sick.

Fun times!

But, no, really, we had a great holiday (as I hope you did too), and I promise there will be more Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom to come in 2012. More recipes, more parenting posts, more random thoughts, more deep discussions (Faith? Politics? the world is our oyster), and some new avenues I'm excited to explore.

And of course, more chatting about television shows - because if there is one thing I've come to realize, I talk way too much about the shows I am passionate about. And I'm finding other people like talking about their fave shows too. Perhaps we can start discussion streams on the Facebook page during our favorite shows?

Ah! Ideas are just spewing from my mind. Make it stop!

So please: stick around. Stop back next week. Posts to come.

And more importantly, I'd love to hear from you. Leave a comment on this post, stop by the Facebook page or send me an email. I want to know how you are doing: How your holidays were, how your 2012 has started, what hopes and dreams you have for this year. What TV shows are you loving (or looking forward to)? Heck, I'd be interested to know what things you'd like to see on this here blog (particularly discussions you'd like to be involved in).

Share! Discuss! And see you next week!

And just because I can, here is a cutie-patooty pic of my girls that was on the Christmas cards we never actually sent!

Oral B Stages Winnie the Pooh Party!

2011-12-31T15:13:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, we were lucky enough to host a MommyParties Oral B Stages playdate for our good friends. Little Chica and I were very excited to open the party box to find the Winnie the Pooh DVD, which also serves as one of the characters on the very cute and compelling Oral B stages children's toothbrushes. Little Chica helped me put together all the bags o' swag (yep, even kids get swag bags) filled with toothbrushes, toothpaste and lavender bath wash (see picture above)!

About 5 of my closest mommy friends arrived (due to the holidays, several others had to sadly decline), and a little more than 10 kids (ages 11 months - 3 1/2 years) were running around the house. We popped the popcorn, and laid out a blanket so the kids could watch Winnie the Pooh.

They were quite engrossed. Have you seen the movie? SO. CUTE.

The moms chatted a bit about teeth (yep, all our kids have 'em), dentists (have your kids gone yet? Were they scared? Who do you recommend locally?), toothbrushes and toothpaste (surprised to find several kids were very anti-tooth paste). Many of the moms already used the Oral B toothbrushes and toothpaste at their house. We were all excited to try out the ones supplied by MommyParties!

We all enjoyed our Oral B party, and have started 2012 committed to healthy teeth (note to self: schedule Little Chica's first dental appointment!).

Thanks again to Oral B and MommyParties for the opportunity!

Disclaimer: This party was sponsored by Oral B, Crest, and Mommy Parties of Mom Select.

Repost: Revolution Gift Ideas

2011-12-20T10:05:00.002-05:00

I wrote this post 2 years ago, when I was just a beginner blogger, but I still stand by the idea that the Holidays should not put us in debt or stress us out as we try to figure out what we should get this person or that. We get so caught up in the chaos of the Holidays, that we don't stop to celebrate the beauty of love, joy and reaching out to our fellow man.

Our gifts do not need to be a monetary value on a list or a way to outdo last year's present. Our gifts can be a blessing to others - and this can be done with little to no money at all (but the value is priceless). Here is the intro post, as well as links to the 10 or so gifts I shared.

I hope you find some ideas. But more so, I hope you are inspired.

Happy Holidays!

Steph

PS - If you have any ideas to share, please leave a comment!

PPS - More gift and recipe ideas are being shared on the Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom Facebook page. Look on the wall for the notes "Holiday Recipe Swap" and "Holiday Gift Ideas."

*****

Warning: This post may offend you. Or it may bore you. Please know that this post means a lot to me, and involves a lot of emotion and passion as I share my heart with you. You may find that this post isn't up your ally, and that is completely okay by me! Some may be challenged by the content of this post, and to you I say, "Are you with me?"

Last year, I was REALLY transformed by the challenge set forth by Advent Conspiracy. I encourage you, as the Holiday season is beginning to creep up on us, to check out this website and watch the promo video. I don't want to ruin the effect of the website, so I won't lay out their agenda, but I will start by saying this idea really struck home with me: We have really lost the root of WHY we have holidays and the MEANING behind them. Somehow, we (especially as Americans) have really thrown traditional "meaning" to the wayside, and replaced the "true" meaning of the upcoming holidays (and I am including Halloween, Thanksgiving and the December Holidays of Christmas, Hanukkah, etc in this category) with COMMERCIALISM. We've created an empire of money, gifts and credit card bills in the name of Celebration and Worship.

I've been really challenged to re-examine my motives for Holidays and what I REALLY want those times to be about. This is the conclusion I've personally come to:

Family, Friends, Community,

Celebration,Togetherness, Stories,

Laughing, Food, Worship

Everyone's list may vary, but those are the ideals I have come up with. Notice that I haven't added, "running up my credit card bills and closing in on bankruptcy because I am attempting to buy everyone (and their Mothers. And their Mother's Mother. And their Mother's Mother's Neighbor) the PERFECT gift. Scratch that. Gifts. More Gifts. Lots of Gifts."

I do not want the Perfect Gift (or the quantity of gifts I give) to signify my love for people. Do not get me wrong: I DO think giving gifts can be apart of love, celebration and togetherness. I think giving someone something thoughtful can be ONE way to show them I care. But when an expectation, obligation or judgement arises over such things, it ceases to be a symbol of love. It becomes an idol of Commercialism and Selfishness. (Sorry, that may be harsh, but it's true).

As I've spent time thinking through these ideas, I've come to embrace the idea of alternative and homemade gift giving. Now let me qualify this by saying I DO buy gifts. Sometimes the best way to show someone I love them is by giving them something they could not otherwise give themselves. But I do not just default to buying gifts. I've realized how, for so long, I just stocked up on "impressive" gifts because...I needed to give gifts. As I re-examined over the past year, I had 2 realizations:

1) My gift giving had become IMPERSONAL.

2)I wasted a lot of MONEY on impersonal, meaningless gifts.

So, analyzing the above 2 realizations, I concluded 2 more things:

1) I can give THOUGHTFUL and PERSONAL gifts to those I love.

2) I can be mindful that MONEY does not give a gift worth, and that I can put the money I would otherwise be spending on gifts toward a better cause.

While I am grateful for the change in mind (and heart), I only regret having come across these ideas too late to impact my last Holiday season. That said, I want to really make this Holiday Season count.

So, I will be posting different thoughts on celebrating holidays and ideas for personal, unique, alternative and handmade/homemade gifts on this blog. Starting NEXT WEEK, I will share a post EVERY WEDNESDAY until the end of December. I have a bunch of ideas running through my head: ways to save money (and in turn, enabling you to have money to give to a good cause), rethinking traditional gifts, crafts for kids to make and give as gifts, new ways to celebrate all the upcoming holidays, ways to encourage others and TONS of project ideas!

Friends, I am embarking on an adventure: Rethinking Holidays, and all that comes with it. I am vowing to celebrate and love DIFFERENTLY this Holiday season.

Are you with me?

If you are at all moved, encouraged or challenged to do the same, then I invite you to join me on this journey. I welcome you to share your thoughts, struggles, ideas and creativity on this blog. START NOW: leave a comment signifying that you will be joining me on this adventure, and share how YOU want to change your heart (and holiday and gift-giving perspective) as well!

*****

I am inspired all over again! As a parent of 2, I can't tell you how much it would mean to me for someone to give me the gift of time with Hubby. "Every Tuesday for the next 3 months, I'm coming over and watching your kids from 5pm-8pm. Go have fun." Or someone willing to do my gardens for me in the Spring. It makes me tear up! Those No-Sew Fleece Blankets are super warm and cozy, and one of my most prized possessions is the handmade cookbook Hubby's grandmother made for me more than 5 years ago.

Be inspired. Inspire others.

Happy holidays, friends.

Parenting Perspectives Around the World: Scotland, Part II

2011-12-20T09:24:00.000-05:00

Here is Part 2 of Jo's ramblings on parenting in Scotland. If you missed Part 1, you can read it here.

Enjoy!

*****

I-is for Immunisations - Bear has just finished his jabs until he is 3. We give them injections at 2 (two jabs), 3 (two jabs) ,4 (three jabs) and 12 months (three jabs) for a string of things covering: diptheria, tetanus, whooping cough, polio, influenza, pneumonia, meningitis, measles, mumps and rubella. Like many places, there is a lot of controversy about the MMR (measles, mumps and rubella) jab and its alleged links with autism but I do still think the benefits of being safe outweigh the limited evidence that backs up the hype. There are no injections here for chicken pox though, and its quite common for mums to try and compete to make sure their child gets it out of the way as early as possible by having "chicken pox parties" in the hopes of cross infection. Weird, but true....

K-is for Kindness. The feeling you get when someone gives you a hand with your screaming baby at the checkout so you can pay without stroking out. Edinburgers are well known for being standoffish but I think I have encountered angels this year.

L- is for Lanisoh. My favourite Mummy Product of all time. Pure lanolin in a tube, thick goop. Supposed to soothe nursing mums but I use it for everything. Dry hands, nappy rash, sore-bits-on-Bears-chin-from-drool, my husbands nose when he was complaining of a cold last week. I'm like the dad from Big Fat Greek Wedding with his Windex. Except Purple-Cracked-Nipple-Cream just ain't so quote worthy.

M-is for money. One BIG difference I definitely notice is the cost of living differences between Scotland and America. It currently costs me $93.80 to fill my small Ford with gas. That really impacts my choices on where we can go out and about, how we shop, stops the temptation to just drive round in circles to get Bearcub to nap and makes you consider all your leisure choices carefully. Being a full time stay at home mum is simply not an option for most - they are definitely an endangered species and those out there keep a low profile as they are often villified by envious peers. My lovely pal Mairi was the only one out of 27 parents in her antenatal group not back at work by the time her son was 8 months old! Flea markets are the in places to buy toys too - a recent Edinburgh nearly-new sale had a queue of 770 mums waiting to get in!

N-is for Night hours. It gets pretty dark here in the winter. This week dusk is at 3.15pm with dawn at 8am. A bit confusing if you are relying on light levels to help with routine. Summer wise its even more confusing for little babies - it doesn't get dark till midnight in June.

O-is for "Oh my word, my midwife is a psycho". Seriously. I. In Scotland you get pretty regular checks throughout pregnancy by a community midwife. Mine, Aileen, was just a loony. First, she refused to believe that she hadn't helped me have a baby before and took offence when I said Bear was my first. He is. I think I would remember. Then she spent THREE of my appointments talking exclusively about plug in aromatherapy stones. Who knew there was so much to say? And finally, most weirdly, she took a urine sample, then without testing it, tipped it down the sink, then picked up my purse and wordlessly tucked the wet bottle into a corner of it. That was the point I decided to request someone new! And my new midwife was lovely, lovely, lovely. I do love the medical profession really.

P-is for Pushing. A recent article revealed that the British Government has decreed that us UK ladies are "too posh to push" and should all have the choice for c-sections even if not necessary. Controversial. Natural childbirth wasn't fun persay, especially since no one believed me I was in labour so I got NO pain meds (heck yes, I did it drug free. My response - just don't) but I'm really not sure that is the answer. If you aren't ready to push you probably should have considered that 9 months previously - I have discovered that physical pain is really the least of the pain you feel once you have a little person looking to you to meet every need.

S-is for Sleep. According to my health visitor British babies are ideally supposed to sleep in a basket, with feet touching the bottom, on their backs, in a sleeping bag (Gro-bag or Dream Pod depending on preferred brand) and in their parents room with them for at least the first six months. Get this - "OTHERWISE THEY WILL DIE OF SIDS (COT DEATH)" . That is a relaxing message isn't it? Don' worry, even if you do that, they probably will be at risk anyway and Meningitis could be completely symptomless for you so just be completely scared witless for the first two years and you will almost be doing enough to prevent a slow painful (but preventable if you watch out for 548 different factors at all times) death for you and your baby. Isn't that attitude nuts? Having been completely taken aback that my nephew would be in a room on his own this trip, and considering that Brits are continuing to see their babies grow older healthily day by day I gather that my health visitor may have been overdoing it slightly on the warnings and there are different ways of doing things.

T-is for Television. We just get the free public channels. One of these is called C Beebies and Bear and I LOVE it. Slightly concerned that sometimes I choose to watch it when he is napping.... Check out these cool shows on YouTube - "In the Night Garden", "Abadas", "Show Me Show Me" or "Something Special" for a taster of British Baby viewing.

(in case you, like me, couldn't resist checking out youtube:

U-is for Umbrellas. I had to mention it sometime. This summer I had 6 days from May-October where we could sit outside. Six. Thats not even freaking double digits. You would think that at least that means I am spared the stress of worrying about baby sunburn. However, we are all so glow in the dark white as a result that the slightest sign of sun and we all lobster ourselves. Plus we get the replaced worry of Vitamin

D deficiency. Just as well that Scotland is otherwise the world's best place to live. Purely on the basis of how hilarious my country men are. We had a 165mph hurricane the other week. Did we despair? No. Did we weep to the cameras as homes were destroyed and 50,000 people lost power? No. Instead we took part in online competitions to be the most blackly hilarious and post shots of the new pandas from Edinburgh zoo being blown over the castle. Seriously. With this weather that means you need 16 layers for your child every time you leave the house if you didn't laugh you would cry.

V-is for Vehicles. Not sure what the situation is in the states, but my buggy (push chair) cost more than our first two cars. It doesn't even have an engine. That would be sweet.

W-is for Weaning. The current crazy fad here is "Self led weaning" where you go straight from milk to giving baby what you are eating, with no in-between purees stage and no spoons! The idea is that if they are ready they will just teach themselves by eating a wide variety of flavours and textures and you will not only save yourself the bother of months of blending and separate baby meals, but will end up with a well rounded non-fussy eater. What seems to actually be the case is bucket loads of wasted, thrown food, mothers permanently terrified of their children choking and some very angry hungry babies! Bear and I decided to mush things for a while and then when he was ready (ie refusing all I offered him and instead eyeing my plate) I just let him explore more solid foods, filling him up with purees once he was tired. Will my child end up fussy? Probably - I am a total fussy eater so can't expect otherwise. But have we enjoyed weaning and is he healthy? Yes and yes. I'm all for fads, but give me a happy baby any day :)

Y-is for Yoga. There is a British kids programme called Waybuloo which teaches babies yoga. Freaks.

*****

So fun to read! What surprises you? What do you find interesting? Would love to hear from you!

If you have a world-wide parenting perspective, get in touch with me - I'd love to help you share your story! moderndaydonnareed{at}gmail{dot}com.

Parenting Perspectives Around the World: Scotland, Part I

2011-12-16T07:00:00.000-05:00

Here is Jo's first installment of Parenting Perspectives: Scotland.

Enjoy!

~~~~~

So, I don't envy my lovely mother-in-law right now. Bless her. She is trying to prepare her home for the simultaneous Christmas visits of a Scottish daughter in law with a 13 month old, and an Oregon daughter in law with a three month old. Forget the fact that the babies are going to be jet lagged in opposing directions (if you know what I mean), this is where suddenly theory meets practice in terms of Mummy vs Mommy...

As a Scot married to a Yankee, Steph asked me months ago to pen some thoughts on the differences I had noticed between Scottish and American mothering. I have written about 20 versions of this so far but most of them ended up falling into three clear but unsatsifactory categories.

a) An annoyed sounding rant about all the hassle of being a mother here. Scots naturally have an Eeyore way of expressing themselves. We are only happy when moaning. (Hey, what can you expect in a country where the sun never shines?)

b) A polemic about the sun never shining in Scotland Did I mention that already?

c) A string of comparisons between the two countries that doesn't actually stand up to scrutiny because I only know my side of things and am basing the rest on a teenage fascination with Sweet Valley High crossed with compulsive House MD viewing.

So today, having yet again put my foot in it by making assumptions about what my little nephew needs as opposed to what Bearcub needed at his age as I try and prepare for this Xmas trip, I thought I would start all over again! So here followeth the Scottish Mummy not quite -A-Z (more like A-Y with some missing) of British things that Americans (maybe?) do differently....

A- Ashton and Parsons - Its teething powder that works. From a camomile plant. Its like gold dust. Rumours occasionally circulate about where you can find it and then you witness a stroller stampede (much like those videos of Black Friday carnage that appear on the web at the end of November) to buy a little match box sized container of the powders. Its been off the shelves for 5 months just now and I guard my little supply with almost as much zeal as Bear's beloved soft toy cat.

B-Breast is Best. Brits are not good at heeding this message. We are an unhealthy nation. I have seen one year olds drinking Irn Bru (crazy orange soda) out of bottles. However, in a misguided attempt to correct this, the "Breast is Best" message is rammed down your throat from the second you conceive. At our pre-natal class, my husband and I were made to watch an Australian video on nursing from the mid-80s which repeated the mantra "100% pleasurable, 100% possible" throughout. Now, I have loved nursing my son, but we had MASSIVE problems to start out with and that saying is just not true. I felt like I was the only one in the world who couldn't do it - shouldn't it be easy and fun according to the video???? What is funny though is trying to match this nanny state approach to feeding with the natural British conservatism - they want you to do it - but they don't want to see it....

C-is for Calpol. Basically baby Tylenol. Swear by it for teething, colds, fevers and just peace of mind when my Bear is just not himself. They also make Calgel teething stuff which is great.

D-is for diapers (technically nappies over here but I will humour you since I already have ideas for 'N'. We are disposable (Huggies if you are interested) all the way. Not many people in Edinburgh have gardens of their own to hang things to dry and in our tiny wee modern flat (condo?) there is nowhere to hang reusables at all. There is a growing market for nappy laundry services but I would feel bad even paying someone to deal with what Bear can produce!

E-is for Education. The jury is out here on how much to push everything as a learning experience and how much babies should be able to just play. There are free pre-school places for all kids for half a day from 3 and a quarter and that seems early enough for me. But if thats not soon enough how about Baby sign language to help them speak before they can talk? Baby foreign languages? Computer classes?

G-is for Groups. Community, as Steph holds to, is one of the key things, if not THE key thing to keeping a mum sane. Mum and Toddler Groups therefore are really popular. I go to a small one at my church on Monday mornings and then a Toy Library group (awesome 20C to borrow a clean, working toy from vast selection for two weeks - do you guys have these?) on a Thursday. Some of the mums I meet there roam the city to go to a group every day. One group in Leith (my locality) is just for under ones and has 47 babies every week.

H-is for Health visitors. Not sure what the American equivalent is but these people are the nurses in your doctor surgery who are responsible for checking on your baby for the first few years. This means weekly visits for the first month and then they do the immunisations (see below) and you can go to drop in weekly weigh ins for the first year either by choice if your baby is deemed to be doing well or by command if not. Mums I have spoken to are pretty much divided into two camps on this. Some love their health visitors for their sage advice and kindly manner (there are lovely ones at my doctors) and others loathe theirs and are terrified of them. I had a temp health visitor at first. That was hard. Bear was feeding constantly and I was having huge issues but I felt I was doing ok. She would insist on stripping him naked, even if he was asleep and then would weigh him and frown concernedly before asking "are you sure you are feeding him dear?" You can imagine how that made me feel. I was really proud when a few months ago I ran into her again by chance and she looked at my great big Bear with disbelief and declared him a "Miracle Ad for Successful Breastfeeding". Once I have completed my psycho therapy for the trauma her initial comments had on my fragile new mum ego I think I will allow myself to feel just a little smug.....

~~~~~

Check back next week for Part II, and you'll get a few more letters of the alphabet to compare parenting experiences with the Scots!

I'd love to share more worldwide Parenting Perspectives. While I doubt this blog reaches the far corners of the world, if you happen to live outside of the States and would care to share a bit about parenting where you are, please email me!

moderndaydonnareed {at} gmail {dot} com.

I'd also love to hear what you find interesting, different or surprising (or the same!) with Jo's Scottish parenting experience. Feel free to leave a comment below and share your two cents!

Parenting Perspectives Around the World: Scotland Intro

2011-12-15T20:53:00.000-05:00

Ok. I'm SO SO SO excited for a 2-part post that I will be sharing with you starting tomorrow. One of the reasons I feel so lucky to be married to my husband (apart from his good looks, crazy smarts and intelligent sense of humor) is that he has an AWESOME family. Not just immediate family either: he has a great set of aunts, uncles and cousins with whom we are very close. His cousins, Aaron and David, married two great gals (Jo and Katie, respectively). One of the more interesting facts about these couples is that they live out of the country! Aaron and Jo reside in Jo's home of Edinburgh, Scotland, while David and Katie are missionaries in Niger, Africa.

Jo has a wicked sense of humor and we get along quite well. She became a mom a little over a year ago, and we have had much to talk about since then. Jo, who is a great writer herself, agreed to share a bit about parenting in Scotland (what is different than America, what is the same). I have procured her awesome post (which I will break into 2 parts: 1 tomorrow, then other next week), but will first start with an intro, so you can get a chance to "meet" Jo.

(Funnily enough, she is on her way over to the States to visit family, so have her in your thoughts as she takes to a trans-atlantic flight with a toddler!)

~~~~~

Hey everyone. Really excited to get to write to you all from cloudy cold Scotland.

My name is Jo and I am married to Steph's hubby's cousin, which makes my chubby 11 month Bear Cub boy second cousin (I think) to Lil Chica and Bitty Bug.

Steph has asked me to share a bit about being a mom in Scotland and how it compares with her experiences in the States. Before I start though, I'm going to have to insist that this blog, just for today is "Confessions of a Stay at Home Mum" - when I try and say "mom" I end up looking like I am making Bear Cub's pooping face. You guys just say your "o" sound weird.

We live in Edinburgh, and have done for the past 4 and a bit years, moving here a year or so after we got married. Bear cub is our first baby and a big part of why I love Steph's blog is her openness about how steep a learning curve parenthood can be. And that is true no matter where in the world you live! The last 11 months have been CRAZY - adapting to a life where you are identified as "Bear's mummy" rather than Jo, trying to adapt to a one salary lifestyle in a country where a gallon of petrol (gas) currently costs $8.98, seeing just how little sleep a human being can function on (classically this morning I put a $400 tax certificate through the wash in my sleepy daze), struggling with trying to meet other parents when the few things locally such as song time at the library invariably clash with naptime and trying to encourage a determined wee red head to be a healthy eater when you yourself would rather chew on your shoe than a carrot.

Steph has given me a list of topics that I will try and work through as I get a chance - hope you enjoy them!

~~~~~

Check back tomorrow for Jo's first post!

Fashion Help: Old Navy Dolman Top

2011-12-13T10:16:00.002-05:00

I know it's been slow with posts recently. Not on purpose, might I add. But I've always maintained that when I have nothing to say, I won't just conjure something up or put pressure on myself to write something.

Because that's not how we roll here on this blog.

And really, it's not fair to you to sift through rubbish posts just because I need to vomit something up on the screen. So really, I'm looking out for your best interests.

That said, more posts to come.

BUT FIRST...

I need fashion help. Again.

So, I have a secret: tomorrow is my birthday.

Eeee!

And not just ANY birthday, but my 30th birthday!

Am I agonizing over age, growing older and the first number changing from a 2 to a 3? Heck no! I think 30 is badass. So I'm kind of excited. Because 29 is so last year.

All that to say, my wonderful mother-in-law had a sweet birthday dinner for me on Sunday, complete with presents (!!!), which consisted of MUCH NEEDED new cake pans and cookie sheets (as my previous ones had been pierced by knives and other things that ought not touch non-stick pans, leading to rust and the leaching of toxins into our food and ultimately our bodies. This message brought to you by CDC).

She also graciously gifted me 2 cute shirts from Old Navy. One of the shirts is a cute off-white long sleeved top with a ruffle down the center. The other is a super chic maroon Dolman top, which is flowy and open, with a cinched waist. It's so stinkin' cool.

And I, in all of my unfashionable glory, have no. idea. how. to. wear. it.

At all.

Like - do I wear it with a tank top underneath? Or maybe layer it under a cardigan - or would that look strange? Can I wear long sleeves underneath it? A turtleneck (too 80's?) Is it best with skinny jeans? A skirt? Leggings?

What shoes?

Hold me.

So here is a picture of the shirt:

Now please help me be cool.

LYLAS,

Divorce: A Post Series

2011-12-06T10:24:00.001-05:00

Divorce.

It's kind of everywhere.

Statistics show that the American divorce rate holds strong at 50% (with second marriages coming in at 64%). That's half. Half of American marriages end in divorce. So, even if you are happily married, chances are divorce has impacted you somehow.

Since divorce is so prevalent, I feel like we as a society have become somewhat numb to it. You hear someone is getting a divorce, and the sentiment is something along the lines of "Oh, that stinks" and you go on eating your dinner. It's unfortunately become not a big deal.

But it is. It is a big deal.

You see, I am happily married. Sure, it is hard at times, but Hubby and I believe in marriage, commitment and family. I look forward to the decades to come of my life with him. Despite finding my Prince Charming, and working hard to live my Happily Ever After, I cannot ignore the fact that I have ish to work through.

Fact: When I was 15, my parents got a divorce. It was a rough one, although not as messy as some. It was not amicable. It was not pain-free. So, I may be married, and intend on staying married until death do us part, but I have lived through the divorce of my parents, so I can speak firsthand about how divorce affects people.

Particularly kids.

My parents divorce has deeply impacted my life. I still deal with the emotional and mental aftermath, even today. I think it is important to realize that divorce affects people: the people involved, the people who know the people involved. No one encounters a divorce without being affected. And I'd go as far as saying that divorce, even the most amicable, can really mess you up. Divorce challenges what you believe about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. It pokes holes in your ability to trust, to understand commitment, to experience love.

But we do a disservice to those dealing a divorce when we chalk them up to being "another statistic." As a 15 year old first learning about my parents divorce, I wanted to scream to the world, "I AM NOT A STATISTIC! THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE MY LIFE." Since divorce has become so commonplace, we quickly move on from the news of a divorce. Yet, we forget that the people involved do not move on. They live in the reality of the divorce. It's something they face every day. They hurt. They get angry. They make poor decisions. They regret. Like someone living with chronic pain, they are unable to escape what they are living through.

There is nothing so isolating as watching people live life around you as you are stuck in a nightmare you can't wake up from.

What we forget most of all is the people who are hurt the most: Kids. While I do not necessarily agree with divorce, my experience has helped me realize that sometimes divorce is the only (or best) answer in a given situation. I do not say this lightly. And while two adults make choices that impact their relationship, there are small people involved who have no choice in the matter. No choice, and often no voice, yet they will wear the scars of the battle.

So, I've started writing a bit about what I experienced dealing with my parents divorce: the onset, the process, the aftermath. I'm not sure where to go with this post series, but I know writing has helped me process over the years. It is my hope that:

This can be a resource to people dealing with divorce.
It gives those of you who have not dealt with divorce first-hand a better understanding of the implications of divorce.
This series can give divorced kids a voice, and the adults in their lives a better understanding of how to help them through the process.
It will give those of you who have beenimpacted by divorce a chance to process and work-through your own stuff.

I'd love to hear your stories, what you've learned, how you've healed, and your advice to others.

So stay tuned.

Above the Clouds the Sun is Shining

2011-12-02T10:39:00.001-05:00

Today is Little Chica's preschool tea party. Letters were sent home weeks in advance, instructing parents to dress up their little one in a fancy outfit (dresses for girls, possibly with gloves and jewelry), and encouraging the children to bring a favorite teddy bear or doll.

I've quickly learned that preschools have important parties once every other week. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Tea Party. Christmas Party. Holiday Parties Otherwise Not Specified. New Years. Chinese New Years. Mardi Gras. St. Patrick's Day. Spring Party. Mother's Day.

The list goes on.

But to Little Chica, every party is special and important. It is fun, exciting and something to look forward to. I get that. And as the mom to a first-time preschooler, I get pretty excited too. I find joy in her joy. Excitement in her excitement. I love seeing the world through her child-eyes. Because as an adult, the magic that life used to miraculously hold has faded. And I secretly cherish the rebirth of some of that same magic in my life, found vicariously through my daughter.

So, last night as we tucked her into bed, I laid out one of her dresses, complete with tights and a flower hair clip. I feel slightly bad that the dress is a hand-me-down, but it's cute nonetheless. I'm not terribly fashion-oriented myself, so the latest children's styles are usually a mystery to me. This morning, I get her dressed, and her anticipation for school is no longer containable. She is excited. She cannot wait for tea.

I slip on her green sneakers, and guilt seeps in. She doesn't have dress shoes. An oversight on my part, I guess. I've gotten so used to hand-me-downs, that I rarely shop for the girls. Nor do I have the money to. And since Little Chica grows like a weed, clothes and shoes don't last as long as one would hope. So right now, her green sneakers are the only ones that fit. But she's only 3-and-a-half, and she gets to wear a dress and bring her beloved teddy bear to school, so she could care less what separates her feet from the cold ground below. And either way, she looks amazingly adorable.

We make the drive to school, and walk in through the doors. Finding a bench, we wait patiently for her Big Teacher to come pick her up. As always, we seem to be the first to arrive. Little Chica smoothes her dress, and cannot keep the smile off of her face. Soon enough, other kids filter through the doors, their parents in tow.

Slowly, a cold current starts to weave it's way through my belly.

I cannot ignore the arriving fluffy, floor-length dresses that sparkle and shine. Clearly, today is the dress rehearsal for holiday attire, practice before the Big Day in a few weeks. Silky fabric, crinoline, bows. Many of the girls have special coats for the occasion. Metallic jewelry. Special hair accoutrements. But what catches my eye are the shoes: glittery Mary Janes adorning the feet of every girl parading through the lobby. Shoes that I'd seen over the past few months when I've been shopping. Shoes about which I'd made multiple mental notes to purchase when there was a bit of extra cash leftover.

Shoes that belittle the vibrant velcro scuffs upon my little girl's feet.

Suddenly I am inferior, made small, and I want to hug my girls so tight that the world cannot see them, harm them. My beautiful girl is Meg March, arriving at Sally Moffat's coming-out party in an afternoon dress when formal eveningwear was clearly in order. I curse the difficulties we've been facing over the last few months, the economy for making life hard, for the world not being a more equal and just place to exist.

Because, let's face it: it's not about the shoes.

Life is just hard. And lately, everything seems to be reminding me of this.

I close my eyes and want to wake when things are right again. What I want, this moment, today and forever, is to know it'll be ok. We'll be ok. I'll be ok. I want someone to embrace me and say that life's obstacles are surmountable. That we will not be overcome, but we will overcome.

That in the end, everyone wins. And when all is said and done, every foot is encased in sparkly Mary Janes.

In the same breath, as I take pity on myself for life's frustrations, I am reminded of those who are facing far worse: death, sickness, poverty, war. I scold myself that my issues are First World Issues, and I am sickened by just how unjust the world is. Embarrassed that my greatest upset today is my child's outfit, when there are an unfortunate amount of kids on this Earth who have no clothes at all. And yet, our financial difficulties and the fear of losing the roof over our heads is very real.

The conflicting thoughts swirl emotionally through my head, and I am humbled.

Because in the lobby of this school, all the girls are running around in their beautiful dresses. They have not yet learned to differentiate, to condescend, to be cold. Unaware of the harsh realities waiting for them down the road. I am grateful for this short season in life when everyone is equal and accepted, crinoline or no crinoline, sparkle or no sparkle. I am grateful that in their eyes, they are all princesses and the world is right.

As they squeal in delight, I remind myself that life is beautiful and precious, even at it's most darkest and difficult. And on the stormiest of days, we can find hope in the truth that above the clouds, the sun is still shining.

Oh, that the sun would pierce through the darkness and wrap us all in warmth.

Reader Recipe Round-Up: Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T09:39:00.001-05:00

I did a shout-out for YOUR Thanksgiving recipes, so we could all be inspired with new and exciting dishes to bring to the table. Bloggers and blog readers alike shared some some tasty vittles, and here is the promised post to pass it along to you!

Barb from A Life in Balance shares her mother-in-law's German Stuffing.

Carrie from Making Lemonade has a great Thanksgiving menu and make-ahead's post you should check out!

Diane from Knitting Zeal posts about her stuffing and cranberry relish.

Melissa from Lissabee Confections shares a delicious cupcake recipe, which she describes as being "like a pumpkin roll in a cupcake, but SO MUCH EASIER":

Autumnal Delight Cupcakes

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon salt
a few pinch fulls of pumpkin pie spice
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup white sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
2 eggs, room temperature
3/4 cup milk
1 cup pumpkin puree
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
extra cinnamon for garnish

Preheat an oven to 375 degrees F. Grease 24 muffin cups, or line with paper muffin liners. (I used Jumbo Muffin Pan, and it made about 8-10 giant cupcakes!) Sift together the flour, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, clove, allspice, salt, baking powder, and baking soda; set aside.

Beat 1/2 cup of butter, the white sugar, and brown sugar with an electric mixer in a large bowl until light and fluffy. The mixture should be noticeably lighter in color. Add the room-temperature eggs one at a time, allowing each egg to blend into the butter mixture before adding the next. Stir in the milk, vegetable oil and pumpkin puree after the last egg. Stir in the flour mixture, mixing until just incorporated. Pour the batter into the prepared muffin cups.

Bake in the preheated oven until golden and the tops spring back when lightly pressed, about 25 minutes. Cool in the pans for 5 minutes before removing to cool completely on a wire rack.

While the cupcakes are cooling, make the frosting. Once the cupcakes are cool, frost with the cream cheese icing, and garnish with cinnamon on top.

Lissa's Cream Cheese Frosting:
1 stick butter, melted
4 cups confections sugar
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
8 oz package cream cheese

Cream all ingredients together, add one cup of sugar at a time until everything is blended together. Add more or less sugar depending on how sweet you like your frosting. I like mine sweet! I use 4 cups.

Karin shared this dessert recipe that she says is "light and refreshing:"

Easy Coconut Pie

4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter, melted 2 eggs, beaten

1 tablespoon all-purpose flour

3/4 cup sugar

1 cup shredded sweetened coconut

1 cup milk

1 9-inch unbaked pie shell

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine melted butter, eggs, flour, sugar, coconut, and milk. Pour into pie shell. Bake until firm, about 45 to 60 minutes.

Alicia shared several awesome recipes:

Tropical Carrot Cake with Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting (from Epicurious)

Cranberry Sauce

(from Rachael Ray magazine):

1 cup sugar , 1 cinnamon stick , 2 tsp finely chopped fresh ginger, 2 tsp grated orange peel, 1/4 tsp salt, 1/8 tsp ground cloves, 12 oz fresh cranberries

Med saucepan combine 1 cup water with sugar, cinnamon stick, ginger, orange peel, salt and cloves. Cook over medium heat stirring constantly until sugar dissolves. Stir in cranberries and bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer, stirring until it thickens ( about 8-10 minutes).

Carmelized Onion and Cornbread stuffing

2 tbsp butter, 2 chopped onions, 6 large corn muffins cut into cubes, handful fresh sage torn up, 1 egg, 1/4 cup heavy cream, 1/4 cup chicken stock, salt and pepper to taste

Pre heat oven to 375. Melt butter in med skillet. Add onions and cook for about 10 minutes. Add sage and put into large bowl. Add your cornbread cubes to this and toss well. Season with S / P. In separate bowl whick eggs , cream and stock. Pour over cornbread and stir together. Spoon into buttered dish and bake until crisp on top - about 30 minutes. This can be put into turkey cavity as well but we never do it that way.

My high school friend, Jeannine, sent 2 great recipes as well!

Sweet Potato Muffins

1/2 cup butter, softened
1 1/4 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 1/4 cups sweet potato puree
1 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 cup milk
1/2 cup raisins or craisins (optional)
1/4 cup pecans or walnuts (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Line muffin pan with muffin papers or grease them.
3. Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs and beat well. Add sweet potato puree and mix well.
4. Sift the flour, salt, baking powder, cinnamon, and nutmeg together.
5. Add flour mixture to potato mixture alternatively with milk. Do not over-mix.
6. Fold in nuts and raisins, if using.
7. Fill tins 2/3 way full.
7. Bake for 25 minutes (or 15 minutes for mini-muffins)

Brussels Sprouts with Pancetta and Craisins

Dice some pancetta (or bacon) and cook medium-high heat until start to get a little bit crispy and the fat is rendered. Add craisins and brussels (cut in half of quarters, depending on the size). Add a spoonful of whole-grain mustard and a splash or two of apple cider. Cook until brussels are just tender - don't overcook.

SO many great recipes to try! As I get more I will update this post - so please, send along YOUR recipes to share with the rest of the community!

To submit a recipe, fill out the form below by midnight!

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Movie Review: Breaking Dawn Part I

2011-11-23T06:00:00.000-05:00

**SPOILER ALERT: If you have not read the Twilight Series or are unaware of the general story of the series, please do not read this post, as it reveals plots and story information**

I have a love-hate relationship with the Twilight series.

In that, I resisted reading them for a really long time because, in principle, I hated them. Mooshy high school love, with vampires no less?

No thank you.

Then, after the pleading of many of my friends, I was finally convinced to open the first book. I became unfortunately hooked. And then obsessed. I, too, had Twilight Fever. I tore through the series in record time, and spent the several weeks after in a Twilight-induced druken haze.

You can read about my transition into being a Twilight Convert here.

I could no longer deny my love for Twilight.

And then I watched the movies.

I was stoked to see the movies, as they seemed to have so much going for them: a straight-forward plot to follow, attractive actress and actresses and a huge fan base. How badly could they mess up filming the books?

A lot, apparently.

Disclaimer: I hated the first 3 Twilight movies. I will say, each got progressively better than the previous movie. But in the same way Good N' Plentys have a slight edge over Orange Circus peanuts in the spectrum of all candy: it's an improvement, but in the entire scheme of things, they still suck.

What don't I like about the Twilight movies? Where do I start? Horrific acting. I initially attributed this to an inexperienced cast. They overacted, then underacted, then just straight up poorly acted. Twilight, the first movie, is especially horrendous. I had high hopes for Kristen Stewart, especially because I really like how the character of Bella Swan is written by Stephenie Meyer. But instead of a shy, perhaps somewhat quirky girl, Kristen's Bella is spasmodic, stuttering, and incapacitated by awkwardness. Like, no person (human or vampire) could possibly have found her attractive. Because it would beg the question if Bella were actually human or possibly a robot.

Robert Pattinson was put in a difficult position: to play the most beloved manpire ever created. Stephenie Meyer wrote Edward to be the almost perfect love interest. He does and says all the right things. Suave, supernaturally gorgeous. And although he got progressively better in each movie, Rob ruined Edward for me. Rpatz just didn't have the spark, depth and grace that I had imagined Edward to possess after reading the novels.

And let's not talk about all the hair/wig issues each movie deals with. Or random plot changes. Or unnecessary story tweaks. Or the poor directing and crappy script writing. Or the ridiculous amount of uncomfortable awkwardness. With each movie, I found myself shielding my eyes. Not out of fear, but embarrassment: I was embarrassed for the actors. I was embarrassed for the writers. I was embarrassed for myself. And anyone in the vicinity. At times, these movies were just painful to watch.

So, I was again found myself hating Twilight.

I couldn't pick up the books, I numbly watched the movies if they were the only thing on TV. I resented Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson for making two beautiful characters awkward and ugly. And I harbored anger toward the team of writers and directors who missed the mark (possibly in their haste to throw up 3 movies in an untimely fashion so as to capitalize on the Twilight craze?) in transforming great books into great movies.

But, I was going to give the Breaking Dawn: Part I movie a chance. I felt like I owed it to the series.

And last night was the Big Night.

Yup, I went to the 8:30 movie on a Monday night. Because that's how I roll. Before the movie, I went to the bulk aisle at Wegmans, stocked up on chocolate covered peanuts and gummy bears, and waited for my friend to arrive. As I nestled into my theatre seat, I mentally prepared myself for discomfort, for embarrassment, for suppressing giggles, for refraining from eye rolling, and for snide remarks. The previews started (shout out for The Hunger Games and a blind-sidingly attractive Snow White and the Huntman). And then I braced myself for a potentially uncomfortable 2 hours...

...Which ended up being a surprisingly compelling 2 hours.

I don't know if time and maturity (and a change of directors) has made a difference, but I was pleasantly surprised by how good the movie was. Now, it's not going to win any Oscars. But Breaking Dawn is streets ahead of the previous Twilight movies. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart seemed to sync with their characters in a way they never had before, and seamlessly performed Bella and Edward. I was finally captivated by (and convinced of) their love. Bella as a nervous bride whose anxiety melts away as she locks eyes with Edward was priceless. Charlie, the unemotional father, had tears in his eyes that brought tears to my eyes. I finally saw the spark, depth and grace that I've always wanted to see Edward have on the big screen. And Kristen Stewart finally found balance in portraying Bella. It's like it took a few years, but everyone finally settled into their parts.

Part of that needs to be attributed to the writing as well. Previous movies in the series had jagged interactions and transitions between characters and scenes, which detracted from my viewing experience. I feel like the dialogue in Breaking Dawn flowed naturally, and nothing really felt forced. Sure, it gets a little awkward to watch the Big Sex Scene - but it's kind of like that with any sex scene, am I right? In my opinion, the scene was done tastefully, sharing enough without sharing too much. Bella's subsequent pregnancy and decline in health was convincing, and Jacob's angst was forceful and believable.

Sure, there were a few less-than-satisfactory aspects to the movie, like when the wolf pack interact as wolves - and you are dealing with voice-overs and animation. CGI is not the end-all, and with a storyline involving a large amount of supernatural content, you have to do the best with what you are given. Certain parts can't be overlooked in the storyline , but also won't be done perfectly. Between the wolves and the chaotic and grizzly birth scene, I think the crew did the best with what they were given to work with.

Overall, I really enjoyed the movie. And I hope this means a lot, coming from a girl who truly hated (with a passion) the previous 3 movies. The wedding (which was endearing - I may or may not have teared up at times) and honeymoon scenes were depicted much like I had imagined them in my mind while I read them. And this movie utilizes songs from the previous soundtracks in really neat ways.

And can I admit that I kind of want to see it again? And perhaps the hate-love-hate cycle is on an upward love arc again?

Yes, I know. As Mychal said, hell must be freezing over.

I want to know:

Did you see Breaking Dawn?

What did you think?

What did you like?

What did you hate?

I'd love to hear your two cents, so leave a comment!

Black Friday Hottness

2011-11-22T15:02:00.001-05:00

Are you a Black Friday shopper? Sometimes, I get the urge to put in an IV of coffee and make the midnight crazy run. I have yet to actually do this. But we can't deny there are some great deals out there on Black Friday - and it's also kind of fun to get caught up in the hype.

Check this out for some great info on Black Friday, and make your Black Friday strategic plan now!

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post, brought to you by Black Friday 2011, Lowes Black Friday ad, and Tiny Prints coupons. All opinions and shopping experiences are my own

Thanksgiving Reader Recipe Round-Up

2011-11-21T18:02:00.001-05:00

With T-minus 2 days until Thanksgiving, I'm sure many of us are still scrounging around for recipe inspiration. What should I bring to my mother-in-law's for dessert? I have a holiday party on Saturday, I need an appetizer! I'm hosting Thanksgiving, and I need a good Turkey Roasting recipe!

Let's inspire one another, shall we?

I'm doing a call out for all YOUR Thanksgiving Recipes: Appetizers, Side Dishes, Main Meals and Dessert. Fill out the form below (submit as many recipes as you'd like), and I'll do a compilation of all the recipes I receive on Wednesday morning. You can look through all the submitted recipes with plenty of time to choose some, go grocery shopping for the ingredients, and getting it ready before the big day!

Can't wait to see what new recipes are shared!

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Baked Breakfast Egg Rolls

2011-11-19T09:39:00.001-05:00

So, last week, I tried this Baked Southwestern Egg Roll recipe I stumbled upon in Pinterest. It was fantastic. Amazing. Scrumtrulescent.

There are no words. I am obsessed with them.

Well, I had a few egg roll wrappers left over, and since it had been quite the adventure trying to track down said wrappers, I was not going to let them go to waste (FYI: they are usually in the PRODUCE section - possibly near tofu. I suggest asking a nice grocery store employee to guide you). Inspiration struck this Saturday morning, and Hubby and I feasted on the end product: Breakfast Egg Rolls.

And they were lovely.

Here's what I love: they are easy and healthy. The filling ingredients are simple: eggs, veggies and reduced fat cheese. These sweetie pies are baked, not fried, so no greasy fry fat to worry about. AND, the keep beautifully. So you could make a batch on Sunday night, keep them in the fridge, and feast on them for breakfast throughout the week (just pop 'em in the oven to warm them up, or the microwave if you dare). Since they are an all-in-one breakfast, they are the perfect on-the-go meal. Grab one or two and grub on your way to work or school. They also are a great way to shake up brunch or breakfast for guests!

Here's the recipe:

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Steph's Breakfast Egg Rolls

(serves 4 - 2 rolls per person)

8 egg roll wrappers
6 eggs
2 TBS milk
3 slices of cooked canadian bacon, chopped
3 green onions, chopped
1/4 cup of cheese, shredded.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

1) Spray a frying pan with cooking spray and heat over medium heat.

2) In a bowl, beat eggs. Add milk. Pour eggs in pan and cook/scramble.

3) Once eggs are cooked/scrambled, add onions, canadian bacon and cheese. It looks a little something like this:

4) On a work surface, lay an egg roll wrapper with a corner facing you like this:

5) Add about 1/4 cup of egg mixture to center:

6) Bring the bottom point up and over mixture:

7) As you roll, fold in the left and right corners:

8) Wet the top corner with a bit of water, and and continue rolling until sealed:

9) Place on a greased cooking sheet, and bake at 400 degrees for 10-12 minutes, or until egg rolls begin to brown. Let cool and serve!

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Let your inspiration run wild! Next time, I want to add some salsa and spinach to the mixture. YUM! What breakfast filling would you use?

I'm not well-versed on freezing items - so I want to do some research on if I can freeze the baked egg rolls for later use? Like, keeping in the freezer, and popping it in the oven in the morning? Any thoughts on this?

Love it! We'll definitely make these a breakfast staple at our house. I plan on making the Baked Southwestern Egg Rolls again this week because, honestly, I just can't stop thinking about them. I also picked up some wonton wrappers. These will be my next endeavor.

If you try these, I'd love to hear how you tweaked them and how they turned out for you!

Have a great weekend!

You Know You Go To The Mall Too Much When....

2011-11-18T10:44:00.001-05:00

Every morning, Bitty Bug (who regrettably gets up earlier than her sister most mornings ::sigh::) and I go together to greet Little Chica in bed when she wakes up. We usually spend some time playing in her bed, looking at books or playing with stuffed animals (depending on how quickly we need to be out the door, since we need a buffer of, oh, 3 hours to get places on time nowadays).

This particular morning, Little Chica wanted to read (note: she's 3 and a half, so when I say read, let's all agree that I mean tell a story that may or may not coordinate with the actual pictures in the book) Bitty Bug her book, NO NO YES YES. In case you are not familiar, this literary masterpiece is a board book of pictures. When you open the book, the picture on the left side of the book is a bad thing (putting toys in the toilet, drawing on the cat, eating dog food, playing with toilet paper, etc), and has the caption NO NO! I'm sure you've already figured out that the right hand picture is a good thing (eating bananas, drawing on paper, using the toilet for....toilet business, etc) and says YES YES!

(Note: we were given this book when Little Chica was about a year and a half. It was then that my mother (God love her) felt it was imperative she buy it for her, as Little Chica was (in Mom's opinion) having some...difficulty...discerning between the YES YES and NO NO pages.)

We love her anyway.

Little Chica was sweetly sharing the book this morning with Bitty Bug, who was more concerned about the stuffed animals than listening. Little Chica got to the page where the NO NO was a little boy running away from Daddy in a parking lot, and the YES YES was the same little boy holding onto Daddy's hand. Running away from us in parking lots used to be a big problem with Little Chica, so even today, we discuss it every time we are in a parking lot (we are nothing if not thorough).

Then the following conversation ensued:

Little Chica: "NO NO to running away from Daddy, but we ALWAYS hold his hand!"

Me: "That's right! Especially where?" (Here acceptable answers would include but are not limited to: parking lots, the street, airpot runways)

Little Chica (with no hesitation): "Boscovs."

Me thinks we frequent the mall too much...

Blogger Spotlight: Mychal B

2011-11-17T10:54:00.001-05:00

I am loving these blogger spotlights! Today's blogger is special, mainly because I've known her for a long time! Mychal and I went to high school together (GO WARRIORS!), dare I say were in the Marching Band together (TMI?), and though we lost tough after she graduated, we now live, quite literally, 3 minutes from each other. Random, right? It's been fun to reconnect with Mychal. I love her blog because it's real, and she tells it like it is!

~~~~~

Name

Mychal B.

Location

Kennett Square, PA

Kids

I have two boys that continue to drive me crazy day after day. At 3 and 5 they have me saying things I never thought I'd say and doing things I never thought I'd do. I am their mother and their referee.

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?

That changes depending on my mood, but I prefer flavors with chunks of cookie in them. My usual suspects are cookies and cream, mint chocolate chip, and chocolate chip cookie dough, but I have been known to branch out when something strikes my fancy.

Favorite BAD band (boy bands, one hit wonder, etc)

I don't really have a favorite bad band per say, it's more favorite bad songs. Ice Ice Baby anyone?

Best place you've ever vacationed?

Our honeymoon cruse to the Caribbean was probably the best vacation I've ever had, but Maui will always hold a special place in my heart. I've been there probably more than 10 times and could never get tired of it.

How long have you been blogging?

I've been blogging a little more than two years, although not as regularly as I would like. I'm trying to work on that though.

Why did you choose your blog's name/theme?

I chose the name, My Life In Mommyland because I wanted to tell my story. I'm living here in Mommyland, stumbling through each day and this is my life. It's a life I never thought I would have since I'm not really a huge fan of kids and all.

Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging as a form of therapy. My kids do some crazy things and I wanted to share them with the rest of the world. My thought was that if I can make one mother feel less alone out there I'd be doing some good in the world. Before blogging I felt so isolated, I needed to reach out to other mothers and see that their problems are the same as my own.

What are you 3 favorite blog posts?

I like this post because it was the first time I really shared what my husband does. He doesn't have a typical job, in fact there aren't many who do what he does. http://mylifeinmommyland.com/2011/07/my-name-is-mychal-and-im-a-turf-wife/

My little guy, Logan has always been a bold child. This post is from two years ago and it still makes me laugh to think back on that day. http://mylifeinmommyland.com/2009/10/dont-leave-your-child-unattended-even-for-a-second/

One of my more recent posts about Cameron starting Kindergarten. I still can't believe how fast the time has gone. http://mylifeinmommyland.com/2011/09/kindergarten-adventures-part-1/

~~~~~

Intrigued about what Mychal's husband does? Or perhaps the mishaps her son had on the bus during his first day of kindergarten? Head over to My Life in Mommyland and read more!

I hope you have found new blogs and bloggers to love. Missed the last few spotlights? Catch up here!

SAVE COMMUNITY

2011-11-16T10:04:00.001-05:00

I love Community.

OK, if you've read this blog, you know I love community.

But that's not what I'm here to talk about today. No, I love Community, the sitcom on NBC.

In an effort of full disclosure, I didn't always love Community. When it first came out, I was all, "Eh." I'm not sure why. Perhaps I had thought it was going to be one way and it ended up being another (much like the moment when you reach into a bowl of M&M's and a Skittle finds it's way into the pile and it's all chocolate and fruity in your mouth which is kind of uncomfortable).

But over time, I kind of started to like it. The quirkiness became endearing. The characters grew on me. I went from like to holding hands, which made it's way to making out. It was not long before Community wrapped it's flesh-tearing brilliantly genius talons around me, and I found myself in love.

I fell in love with, what I believe to be, the smartest show on television since Arrested Development. Amazingly written episodes by a genius team of writers who are available to the fans (check them out on Twitter). Intricate plot themes, often giving nod to those of us who love movies and television shows. Many of the episodes are like mini-movies themselves, and if you are one of the few who understand the hidden nuances, count yourself part of the circle of trust. A cast of lovable (albeit, quirky) characters who are played by a cast of actors and actresses you can't help but want to be friends with. I fell in love with being Britta'd. I fell in love with a show that was Streets Ahead. I wanted to wake up with Troy and Abed in the morning.

I even got Hubby in on the action. He wasn't a fan until I made him sit down all summer and watch every episode of the previous two seasons. Hubby, too, fell in love. When Fall fell upon us, we had the Community season premiere on the calendar. Each week, we bide our time until 8pm on Thursday night, when we can reunite with our Community family.

So you can imagine this news hit me like a ton of bricks.

Community on hiatus? The future of the show in question?

This would be the saddest of all timelines.

How do I feel about Community's mid-season halt? Hurt. Betrayed. Alone. Giddy. Uncomfortable. Infatuated. Confused. But most of all, I feel helpless. How does a peon of a Community fan just stand by as her beloved show's status is stake? What does one do?

Well, she writes this post.

And then encourages you to do the same.

Yeah, it's a grassroots effort that will most likely lead no where, what with all 2 people reading it (hi, Mom!). But I am writing this to stand up for a show I love, a show I believe in. Even just one (small) voice (::singing in the darkness:: C'mon Manilow fans!) can make a difference. I know there are more of us Community lovers out there. So I ask you to spread the word and make a statement:

Save Community! Do your part: Share this post. Tweet. Facebook. Tumble. Donkey Express. Occupy NBC. I don't care if you never read this blog again, but pass the message along. Heck, write your own post. Create your own tweets.

Together, let's take a stand for the future of Community.

#savecommunity #occupygreendale #sixseasonsandamovie

Blogger Spotlight: Carrie from Making Lemonade

2011-11-15T10:06:00.001-05:00

Whew! Took some time off from Spotlighting to take care of some household business. BUT, I'm BACK and ready to inspire you with more bloggers! Today's Blogger, Carrie, has a blog I've really come to love! Not only do I find great recipes, craft and household ideas from Carrie (SO MANY GREAT IDEAS - seriously, check out Carrie on Pinterest - I'm constantly inspired), but it's been fun to get to "know" her through her posts (including the traumatic birth of her daughter). The breezy and welcoming design of her blog is echoed in the voice of her writing. Read more about Carrie and Making Lemonade below!

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Name

Carrie from

Making Lemonade

Location

Philly 'burbs

Kids

"Noodle", 3 years old and "Bee", 1 year old

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor

Cake Batter Swirl (from Merrymead, a local dairy farm)

Favorite BAD band

New Kids on the Block. What can I say? I grew up in Boston.

Best place you've ever vacationed

We consider the Outer Banks our second home. We stay south of Nags Head, on Hatteras Island in a village called Avon. All it takes is one day of being there for us to totally decompress (okay, three days once we had kids and brought them with us). For sheer amazingness, Maui ranks #1. We hope to go back someday and relive our honeymoon. Another place we loved was Telluride, Colorado-- but in the summer because we don't ski. You MUST see the view from the gondola as you descend into the village. Takes your breath away. So, that was three places. I broke the rules. ;-)

How long have you been blogging?

Just over two years.

Why did you choose your blog's name/theme?

When my daughter's umbilical cord ruptured during delivery, it turned everything we knew upside down. Instead of this perfect world of naps and bottles and playdates, we now how to navigate NICU life, feeding tubes, and dozens of monthly appointments. Instead of wallowing in it, we tried to find the bright side-- and that got us through quite a few dark days! Making Lemonade was the natural choice for a blog name, and as for a theme I call it "a lifestyle blog." Mostly I blog about ways to continue to live a lovely life, but for less. That means recipes, DIY projects, activities for the kids, great deals, and a healthy dose of humility in a series I call "Mommy Misadventures".

Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging a month before I knew I was pregnant with my son, baby #2. I thought it would be a good way to let my creative juices flow during my daughter's naps, keep me on track by getting me out and doing things, and continue to write-- which is a hobby I've never had time to explore. That entire sentence became a joke when my son was born-- trust me, blogging and DIY projects are rarely what I do when one of them naps! Instead I've carved out time to blog at night and decompress, connecting with others and managing to post about 1/10 the ideas that are in my head. What I never expected were the friendships I'd form through blogging; how it's gotten me out of my shell and allowed me to "meet" friends all over the place and share a bit of their culture and daily life experiences as well.

What are you 3 favorite blog posts?

Two Year Ago Today

Mommy Misadventures: The Library

Perfect Summer Cocktail

~~~~~

Thanks to Carrie for sharing a bit about her life and her blog. I hope you are finding new blog friends through these spotlights, and new inspiration as well! More to come! Click here to read the previous Blogger Spotlights.

Penn State Abuse Scandal: Thoughts from a Non-PSU Alumni

2011-11-12T09:48:00.001-05:00

It seems that every blogger, news site and media outlet has given their commentary on the Penn State child abuse scandal. I think it has hit many hard, and people need a way to process through their thoughts and feelings.

So here's my two cents. Well, before I give my two cents, let me get a few things straight:

Disclaimer 1: I am not a Penn State University alum. I am not part of that community. I am from Pennsylvania, so PSU is inevitably part of my environment. While I appreciate the "WE ARE PENN STATE" mantra, I cannot completely understand it, because I didn't go there (I believe Penn Staters would agree).

Disclaimer 2: I am not a football fan. In that, I completely don't understand it. I don't watch it. I don't care about it. And what does or does not happen during a football season (college league or NFL or whatever) in no way affects my immediate life.

Disclaimer 3: In my former pre-kids life, I was a social worker. I still am a social worker in spirit, because, really, being a social worker is a mindset, not just a profession. Not only was I a social worker, but I was, specifically, a caseworker for my county's child protective services (aka, "Children Youth and Families") (aka, "that department whose sole purpose is to protect kids and look out for their welfare") (aka, "that department that deals with child abuse and neglect, among other things") (aka, "that department that is sometime villainized for being the service that 'yanks kids out of their homes.'")

Now, onto my two cents.

I'm not here to judge whether it was right or wrong to fire Joe Paterno with only a few games left in his season. I know that seems to be the big media blitz; he is one of the biggest celebrities at PSU, so of course it makes the most news. I don't know if it's fair that he seems to be the fall guy, especially when so many other people were involved. I'm not sure why Mike McQueary is being protected as a "whistle blower" for (eventually) going to authorities, while Joe Paterno got fired despite going to the authorities as well.

There is a lot to feel conflicted about.

There is a lot to also be outraged by. I know I'm not a PSU grad, and therefore "can't get it," as many alumni have asserted to non-alumni over the past few days. I'm not a football fan, so I know I can't "get" how firing JoePa can ruin a season and legacy. Nor do I care. I am disgusted that Penn Staters rioted when Joe Paterno was fired, to show their support and love for him. One even stating that it's wrong for him to get fired "over something like this." The PSU scandal has been a comment storm over Facebook, and I've had a chance to read through the thoughts and feelings of alumni and non-alumni alike. And there were plenty of people stating that Joe Paterno should have been given the opportunity to at least finish out the season.

This gives me pause.

Because, once again: I don't know how much he knew. I don't know how much anyone knew. But they knew. They knew something. And I do applaud Joe Paterno for telling someone. For McQueary for telling someone. Being the one to bring out a story like this can be difficult. And many people claim as much: that Joe Paterno did his duty. He told authorities. You are right. He did. He told his boss, and I'm sure trusted they would do something about it.

But they didn't.

And he all but washed his hands of it.

How do I know he washed his hands of it? He didn't pursue it any further. McQueary didn't pursue it any further. Authorities didn't pursue it any further. Investigations fizzled, and Sandusky all but got a slap on the wrist. Then Paterno is fired, and people get all in a tizzy about it. So I have to ask:

What if it were your kid?

What if it were your kid with his hands against the wall in a shower being abused by a man he thought he could trust? What if it were your kid who watched another grown man come into the locker room, his hopes soar that this savior will rescue him from a horrific situation, only to watch that man leave as though nothing was wrong. What if it were your kid, whose story was passed from authority to authority, only to lead to a dead end?

What if it were your kid whose innocence was stolen, whose life would never be the same again?

I doubt you'd care that some football coach was fired with a few remaining football games left in his season. I doubt you'd care if he "did his duty" by telling authorities. You'd want him canned. Let's be honest: if you are a parent, you'd want worse. You'd want every person who knew an inkling of your child's trauma to be held accountable. To be hurt, like your child was hurt.

Because even if the men who knew about this abuse "did their duty" by telling their higher ups, they left it at that. They washed their hands of it. They didn't follow up. They didn't pursue. They didn't stop until justice was served. They didn't fight.

We need to fight for our kids. Because they cannot fight for themselves. They are innocent and fragile. And they need us to protect them. Whether they are our biological children or not.

THAT is our duty.

Our response should not be "I can't believe Joe Paterno got fired!"

It should be, "I can't believe these children were abused."

So do I care that a school's honor is at stake? That a legendary coach has been fired? That a president has been canned? Do I care who knew what and did this or that with the information?

No.

I care about those young souls who endured a nightmare that no child should endure. The victims whose trust was broken, innocence stolen and mind completely screwed up. The children whose lives will never be the same.

The kids are really who matters in this situation.

Let's not lose sight of that.

To Whom It May Concern...

2011-11-10T10:04:00.000-05:00

To All the Nay-sayers

Mark my words: there will come a day when my extensive and questionably useless knowledge of Air Supply Lyrics (arguably of super-hero power proportions) will quite possibly save all man kind.

On that day, you can thank me.

And on that day, I will do my best to refrain from saying, I told you so.

LYLAS,

Voting Can Be Beautiful

2011-11-09T10:32:00.001-05:00

Now here's the deal: We all have opinions, beliefs, ideals. And while I have those perspectives just like anyone else, I also tend to stay away from being too political. Partly because I'm not well-versed in politics. I don't always know how things run. I struggle to recall my senior year government class from high school. I forget what each branch of the government does. And I most likely couldn't tell you important people of congress.

I don't mind sharing my viewpoints or supporting something I believe in. And just because I can't give you the run down of every political party out there doesn't mean I forfeit my right to think, feel, and believe. But, politics are sticky. Elections can be dirty. And I think when opposing sides tear each other apart, it's disgusting.

All that being said, I also believe in change. Although we do not currently live in my husband's school district (where he teaches), we grew up there and intend to be back in time for our kids to start school there. And as a teacher's wife, the mother of future district students and a future taxpayer for this district, I was increasingly unhappy with the attitude and choices being made by the current school board.

Apparently, other people were too. Several months ago, a write-in candidate campaign formed for yesterdays election. The write-in candidates made great points, and seemed to be looking out for everyone's best interests. Coming from a very Republican county, it was a long-shot. Not being on the ballot was a strike against them, and not being affiliated with any party was another (although, the idea of taking the party politics out of school board elections is becoming increasingly popular). But I applauded their efforts to try to make a difference and hoped for the best.

Yesterday, tens of thousands of school district residents went out to vote. Throughout the evening, I checked in on the results, and was surprised to find that the write-in candidates were making a great fight. In a way I could have never imagined. Each precinct's results showed that the race would be close. Our local paper, The Daily Local, has been doing a great job of covering the school board race, even holding their own candidate debates (complete with live tweeting!). They reported in an article from today's paper that the "massive write in campaign against the status quo of the Democratic and Republican parties Tuesday for school board candidates in the West Chester Area School District has made the race for six school board seats too close to call."

I can't help but think this is beautiful.

Yes, beautiful. Not because of politics. And really, not because of one "team" winning or losing. The beautiful thing about this massive write-in campaign is the picture of a community passionately coming together to rally for what they believe. For change. For their community. For their own families. And, above all, for the kids.

In this era of technology, where "personal" interactions are limited to quick tweets or Facebook status updates or an email, we've lost a sense of community. It was not that long ago that we believed in a village raising a child. We lived in neighborhoods that had block parties, where the families that lived steps from one another actually knew one another. And shared life.

Community is about sharing life. About caring not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. That means whether you have kids or don't have kids, like kids or don't like kids, doing what is in their best interest simply because they are part of your community. Because every person matters.

So it may be a few days until we know who won the seats on the school board. There is a lot of counting, tallying and deciding to be done. But in some ways, while I yearn to see change, I already feel somewhat victorious. Because the write-in candidates put up a fight. Our community put up a fight. For what they believed in. Together.

And in my book, that is victory all on it's own.

Nutella Strawberry Crescent Treats

2011-11-06T10:36:00.001-05:00

I don't normally post on Sundays.

But, hey. Why not, right?

Anyway, I had come across a great little recipe on Pinterest the other day, which involved cutting crescent roll dough into squares and filling those squares with a slice of banana, peanut butter and chocolate chips. Then sealing them up like little packets. And then baking, of course.

Well, Hubby and I were super excited about the idea and tried it. And it was...ok. But the combo of bananapeanutbutterchocolate was just too much. Like too rich in some bites, not sweet enough in others. Some bites weren't terribly palatable. But, the experiment gave me inspiration, so we tried another crescent dough filling combo the next night.

This experiment was much more successful.

And Über delectable.

The recipe is super simple, and easy for little hands to help with. The end result is little bites of goodness, perfect for tiny kid mouths! Since I'm all about the visuals, I've once again chronicled the recipe tutorial with pictures. But again, forgive me for the pics not being terribly professional.

And I hope you make these, like, yesterday.

Nutella Strawberry Crescent Treats

Ingredients

1 tube of crescent roll dough (I used reduced fat)
1/2 cup of Nutella
2 or 3 large strawberries, sliced
Sugar, for coating (I used Raw Sugar)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

On a baking sheet (I covered mine with parchment paper),

unroll crescent roll sheets

Pinch together seams

Cut dough into small rectangles

(for 1 tube, I got 12 rectangles)

Spoon 1 TBS of Nutella on each rectangle of dough

(you don't have to say it. I know what the dabs of Nutella look like)

Place 1 strawberry slice on top of Nutella

Fold up dough over strawberry/Nutella and seal edges.

(Here they are sitting pretty on the baking sheet, all sealed up)

Sprinkle with sugar (I used Raw Sugar).

You can also skip this step, they will still taste scrumtrulescent.

Place baking sheet in preheated oven for 11-13 minutes,

or until the crescents are puffed and baked golden.

Take them out of the oven,

and let cool before serving.

And then stack them on a serving dish,

because they deserve to be shown off a bit.

And then get impatient, and take a bite.

You might burn your mouth, but it's well worth it.

Be sure to admire your culinary handiwork.

I'm realizing that the filling combinations are endless, so I look forward to creating new concoctions. Jam or Jelly! Leftover Halloween candy! Fruit! Heck, we could even go savory with veggies and hummus! AUGH! It's mind-blowing!

I'd love to hear how these turn out for you. Even better? Let me know what combinations YOU try. I want to be inspired!

Have a happy Sunday!

5 Ways to Brighten Your Mood Today

2011-11-03T10:40:00.000-04:00

Some days are just rough. No way around it. Whether you aren't feeling well, or the kids are uncooperative, or life just starts crumbling, it's easy to get lost in the downward mood spiral. It happens all the time to me. It only takes one little thing to set me off: A child whining first thing in the morning, forgetting to pay a bill on time, getting out the door late for any number of reasons. And just like that, my mood sinks until I'm just a bear to reckon with by the time bedtime rolls around.

Sound familiar?

I have a few surefire ways to brighten my mood, to stop the downward spiral in it's tracks, and even put a smile on my face. Do you need some ideas on how to put some spunk in your step? Here are some of mine:

Sing it out

I'm that crazy person in the car who blasts the cheesiest music possible through my speakers and sings along at the top of my lungs. There is just something about bad music and singing that perks up my soul. And really, who can feel bad singing to this, this or this?

Dance it out

If I'm in a particularly foul mood, I like to crank the music in my family room (or even the car) and just dance. I'm certain people have driven next to me and considered calling 911 as I gyrated in the drivers seat. Just dance, people. Take a cue from Meredith and Christina (or Meredith and Derek, for that matter). It doesn't matter if you can't keep a beat. It doesn't matter if you've got no moves. It doesn't matter that people might mistake your rhythm for back spasms. Just dance.

Eat cookie dough

Yup. Straight from the tube. It may not be the best thing for your diet. And sure, it could give you salmonella. But can we all agree that cookie dough is just the bee's knees?

Go for a jog

In direct conflict with the above statement, exercise does a body good. And when you are feeling stressed, going for a quick run (however loosely we are using the term "run" here on this blog) releases endorphins. And endorphins just make you feel awesome. Perhaps eat the cookie dough first, then run. And then possibly puke.

Dress up

Many of you work, and have the opportunity to spruce up your look on a daily basis. As a stay-at-home Mom, I easily fall into the rut of hanging out in my pajamas. And contrary to popular belief, I don't stay in my flannel pants all morning because it's comfy. Rather, I sometimes just can't get around to changing my clothes in the midst of changing diapers, pouring bowls of cereals, breaking up sibling fights, attempting to clean and keep the house tidy. Ok. And maybe because it's kind of comfy. I also hate wasting a nice outfit on the interior walls of my home if I know I'm not leaving the ~~prison~~ house that day. But. BUT. Taking a shower, putting on some cool clothes, running a brush through my hair, and applying some make up really serves to improve my mood. Even if no one but my children will see me that day, putting in a little extra effort makes me feel more human again.

So there you have it. 5 easy ways to brighten your mood today. They may be small things. But small things can make a big difference.

What do you do to put a smile on your face when you're having a bad day?

Leave a comment and share your tips below!

PS - Or you can just watch this clip of Ron Swanson drunk dancing. Puts a smile on my face every time.

Blogger Spotlight: Kelly Raudenbush

2011-11-02T10:27:00.001-04:00

Another great local blogger spotlight for you today! If any of you have a heart for adoptions, then this blogger is right up your ally. I was excited to stumble across Kelly and her blog, as we've both been involved with Young Life in the past, and I knew her immediately from her maiden name. Her blog is inspirational, as well is her non-profit and small business work: all for great causes!

~~~~~

I can now officially testify that writing and editing bios for other people is ten times easier (and much more interesting) than writing a bio about myself. But, alas, I'm going to quit being virtually sheepish and just do it. I'm Kelly--though it seems like I am called "mama" way more often than Kelly. We live in Phoenixville, PA -- my husband Mark and me and our crew of 4 kids who often seem like many more. Fortunately for my anal retentive self, we managed to get a good pattern here -- boy (9), girl (7), boy (5), girl (2). We cheated a little though--our youngest was adopted from China at the age of 13 months old.

I started blogging in 2008 when we were bunkering down for a long wait during our adoption process and I found myself enjoying passing the time stalking adoption bloggers' sites. It took me a while to really get hooked on it though--took me a while to realize I did have some blog-worthy things to say even if I had less than 10 followers. 3 years later, our daughter home now and fully entrenched in the family, a small business, another website for adoptive families, a nonprofit, and a couple hundred followers later, I have realized I have a whole lot to say.

My Boy Girl Boy Girl Boy Girl blog is getting ready for a bit of a renovation. That title is a bit of a mouthful. Saying it, I occasionally add an extra "boy girl" which results in just a wee bit of a panic attack. So, I'm transitioning to a title that sums me up quite well -- I Overthink Everything. My blog pretty much proves that. And, my husband would confirm that as well.

Blog posts I've loved? Oh, there's so many. And, how do I decide when I overthink everything? Guess they'd probably include this one that tells the story of us accepting the referral for our daughter and deciding to move forward to bring her home. This one is simply some mommy thoughts for her first-born daughter. And, this one seems to capture my children's childhoods in simple images. What mama wouldn't love that?

And, I have to invite you all on over for something special happening now through Christmas--something I'm calling Purposeful Giveaways. I've got some giveaways lined up--like a whole lot of giveaways scheduled. For the first week starting 10/31, there will be one everyday. After that, one giveaway every other day until Christmas. All will be highlighting someone selling something for a purpose, a cause, something worth supporting. This season, I'm thinking I want to shop with purpose -- and that doesn't require any overthinking. Come join me.

~~~~

I hope you find Kelly's blog as heart-warming as I do, and can rally with her as she rally's for adoption! I also hope you are finding new blogs to welcome into your rotation :)

If you missed the past Blogger Spotlights, you can find them here.

Check back for more Blogger Spotlights later this week!